The Effects Of An Autistic Public Outburst

Been awhile since I've posted on here because I've been REALLY poorly. So much so I barely go out anymore.

The reason why mostly is because on Thanksgiving of last year I had an public outburst causing under a grand worth of damage and I got arrested for it.
I've been so ashamed I haven't dared leave my flat.
So in order to fight against my anxiety and loneliness I've been focusing my work on my performing art website and working on it's podcast.

I still believe in the Black/Aspie Sheep Brigade message but right now, I'm a mess.

So I thought I would post the first episode on here explaining the struggles I've been dealing with since the incident.
Hope to post something on here soon.

Celebrities Who Have Lived And Died Due To Being Different

Repeat after me; Pizza and booze ALL WEEKEND LONG... Is NOT my mother fucking friend.

After Friday's post all I've done this weekend is eat pizza and drink. I'm working the best I can with ebay listing, our store and my performing art blog. So the goal was a little self medication was deserved. Weirdly after Saturday's MLP episode I felt like... This 19' inch pizza is NOT going to be eaten in one day. I write this on a Sunday and as of right now, my stomach acid is turning that pizza into... Actually, I don't actually know and I can't be bothered to google.
You could wiki it, if you wish. I can't be arsed.

Heath Ledger

I mention wiki because I'm a little pissed off no mention of Heath's anxiety (He was taking medication for which with an accidental cocktail of other drugs due to an painful injury lead to his death) but I feel people could be upset as I don't know much about Ledger's films apart from the most hyped pre-ultimate film he made; The Dark Knight.
Side note; I always find normal society's treatment of the death of a celebrity hilarious. At first there's much respect, time of thought, blah blah blah. However I find most final films of the deceased John Candy in Canadian Bacon or the film he actually died on filming, Wagons East. Or in this case The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus seemly ignored by critics and public like. In Ledger's case more seemingly weird considering it did okay at the Box Office.
I really hope the promo team for Paul Hunter's last film really puts the effect in into trying their best efforts to make Paul's last film a success. Providing it isn't shit. Sadly like Wagons East was.

Anna Nicole Smith

Admittedly I wasn't going to feature Anna. I was one of the many who thought she was a gold digging bitch. She might have been but that's for the forces higher than us to judge. Not us. 
I was looking for an article which was the inspiration for the post and during my google searches for the key words that could help me find it (doesn't help I've like an hour ago deleted my 4 week history) I came across ANS toxicology report on a celeb dirt sheet blog bollocks.
I fucking hate those celeb blogs. Reminds me of annoying old ladies spreading gossip over garden fences.
The drugs found in her body after her death were used to treat weight control problems, panic attacks and anxiety.
I think I'd like to read more of ANS and maybe revalue who she was. It's so easy to judge and hate. It's a lot harder to forgive and love.

Marshall Mathers (Aka Eminem)

Frankly, the reason why I know it's okay to be different. I've been a fan of Marshall since 1999. Singing along with the lyrics, making my own lyrics up about murdering people and generally scaring the shit out of friends by correctly acting out Randy's death scene starring me as Ghost face in Scream 2. By the way if Counter Strike has taught me anything it's people running away run FASTER than people running with knifes.
I'm just kidding about that last one.
Although I have dreamed about chasing half naked women with a BB gun in a park. A few times.
Needless to say I'm a bit of a 'Stan'. Covered in Chocolate.
From research I've looked at, Marshall hasn't stated he himself has a mental illness but a lot of his lyrics frankly sing to me as someone who does struggle.
Marshall however has confirmed he has been addicted to valium (used to treat anxiety, alcohol withdraw and others) and Xanax (treated for panic attacks and anxiety).

Ruby Wax

Other than having the best name in the WORLD (my daughter's name is Ruby and you opinion of better names is irrelevant), Ruby Wax has ninja-like been present all my life.
Seeing her as a Kid in the UK version of 'Who's Line Is It Anyway) and being a talented actress who was in shows like The Professionals AND joining The Royal Shakespeare Company, something I've always dreamed of doing... 
By the way? Rest in peace, Peter O' Toole...
And also doing a talk at a TED on mental illness. She also is a campaigner for mental illness awareness and an author on mental illness as well as graduated in master's degree in mindfulness based cognitive therapy and earned a postgraduate certificate in psychotherapy and counselling.
She is NOT a celebrity.
She IS a FUCKING LEGEND.
Ruby suffers from depression, bipolar and has a started a social network called black dog tribe. No relation. ;)

Dan Aykroyd

Speaking of legends, Dan Aykroyd.

Ghostbusters.

Dan's character summons the Marshmellow Man for the boys to fight.

The Blues Brothers.

One of my favourite films, Trading Places.

Dragnet. 

FUCKING DRAGNET!!

Another one of my favourites!! Why doesn't that film get MORE love?! It was fucking awesome!!

The list goes on.

And also rumoured to reprise role as 'Dickless' Raymond Stantz in Ghostbusters 3... Yawn... 

Frankly, I've heard that rumour all the way through my training as a actor. Along with the Goonies sequel.

We'll see.

Dan has Asperger's Symdrone (like me!) and tourettes.

Susan Boyle

I don't know much about her work but everytime I see her on TV (when off the rare times I DO watch), I think she's fucking awesome. The Peediepie before Peediepie started trending. 

Her first appearence on Britain's Got Talent on youtube has... Jesus fucking Christ. IS THAT EVEN A REAL NUMBER?! 

140,200,270 views

Fuck it. Lemmie try reading that shit. Over one hundred forty... No, wait... One hundred billion, forty million, two hundred million? Bollocks.

I'll just stick with easier numbers.

2 Grammy nominations.

Debut album debuting at number one.

Seven plus two is nine... Plus one... Equals ten time platinum albums just in the UK alone.

And never mind wild horses, a true dark horse that was told she would never make it. Would never been successful. Being put down by those at her BGT audition and everyone else who voted for who the fuck ever disappearing acts from that show.

And recently has been dianogsed as being an aspie girl! I say welcome!

These are just some examples of people in a high profile spotlight who still do what they did, entertain you. Inspire you. I tell people I'm coming back as an performing artists and I get yeah, yeah, yeah... My anxiety kicks in but I still believe if and when the right project comes along it will be hard for me to say no. It will be tricky for me to NOT leave the house. It will be impossible when the spotlights are on me or the curtain rises for me not to do the best I can.

You just have to believe in YOU. I can only lead you so far. YOU have to know despite these shitty illnesses we have or concerned our different way of thinking will scare others you can still achieve greatness.

I forgot to mention transgender artists like Lana Wachowski and Laura Jane Grace. Matrix is still one of my all time favourite films. And why shouldn't it be? 

By the way, I don't know Laura's work pre or post transformation in Against Me. Sorry! 

Frankly if your fans disabanded you because you show your true self, they clearly wasn't fans in the first place. I can't not think of Darren Young when writing that last sentence.

Stay classy, black sheep. 

:)

Have I missed anyone out? Comment below and share with us what celebrities also difficulties and diffentities like Asperger's, depression, bi-polar or other! 
And yes. diffentities is NOT a word.

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Why THAT Blog and It's Form Of Masculity is utter Tesco value BOLLOCKS

It's 25 to five. I don't normally drink this early.

I dunno, I've just been on a downer all day. I feel like people are ignoring me and ironically I don't want to rally talk about it. It's only a half but I already feel like I wanna get wankered this weekend. I turned 18 the year 2k in a lad mag culture of getting drunk, making a tit of yourself and pulling 'birds' left, right and centre. Also is nerd weekend where my beloved my little pony friendship is  magic returns and the TV showing of the new Doctor Who which not only celebrates the show' s 50th birthday but also I believe the first time there will be two doctors, David Tennard and the most recent doctor, Matt Smith.
A deadly cocktail for an excuse to forgot your ambitions.

Even now I'm thinking of I drank a bit more, I'd get courage to talk to a girl, not because I fancy her, because I think I've met her before.
But today I'm a nervous fucking wreck. The irony is fucking hilarious. I think to live the life I lead.. you need balls of steel as well as acceptance. The power to walk strongly and know who you are and to be unapologetic about it. I consider myself this neo gentleman bad man. My beliefs have bent in order to adjust to my new way of life: a polyamorous free range aspie guy.
There are others like me but with a stronger following. An American blog which hopes for the 'return of the hetrosexual masculine men' is getting alot of press of late... but I will not name it here, as I consider myself hetrosexual masculine men... Who is comfortable with who I am. Yes I have played as a bi and yes I am trans-friendly but I am attractive to WOMEN, FULL STOP. In any shape or form. It is the emotional connection I am after rather than the pure sex appeal. JUST sex can be boring, I find.

THIS blog from it's about page reads the following:

The blog is "meant for a small but vocal collection of men in America today who believe men should be masculine and women should be feminine.

1. Men and women are genetically different, both physically and mentally. Sex roles evolved in all mammals. Humans are not exempt.

2. Women are sluts if they sleep around, but men are not. This fact is due to the biological differences between men and women.

3. Men will opt out of monogamy and reproduction if there are no incentives to engage in them.

4. Past traditions and rituals that evolved alongside humanity served a net benefit to the family unit.

5. Testosterone is the biological cause for masculinity. Environmental changes that reduce the hormone’s concentration in men will cause them to be weaker and more feminine.

6. A woman’s value is mainly determined by her fertility and beauty. A man’s value is mainly determined by his resources, intellect, and character.

7. Elimination of traditional gender roles and the promotion of unlimited mating choice in women unleashes their promiscuity and other negative behaviors that block family formation.

8. Socialism, feminism, and cultural Marxism cause societies to decline because they destroy the family unit, decrease the fertility rate, and require large entitlements that impoverish the state."

Oh, and by the way: 

"Women and homosexuals are prohibited from commenting here. They will be immediately banned."

Ugh. This writing is becoming my Everest.  It's now early Tuesday morning and I have so much to articulate with this posting.

The point is this blog similar to this blog speaks to a very small group of people. 

I first started writing this blog with a vague idea of what it is. Now I'm a little clearly; it's a lifestyle blog where the writing is about general subjects but aimed at people with mental illnesses who don't mind a bit of blue language. The sub-groups within that area are welcome here. I wanted to aim for my own type of people such as bronies, polyamorous and asperger's people but that's just me.

And by the way, I'm still on a downer.  Droggy. Anti-social. Pushing people away. But at least I know who I am; neo-masculine red blooded man. I'd like to prepare myself to the above mentioned blog.

•  Men and women are genetically different, both physically and mentally. Sex roles evolved in all mammals. Humans are not exempt.

I'd break that sentence up so the back is front and the front is back. Not sure why I would do that as I agree with the sex roles bit. To a point.

And to a point the genetically different bit. But I like to think there's an element of belief that they are unable to fathom that women are capable of being profitable in male dominated fields and to add touches to possibly surpass the men. I think NLF (National Football League) for the men, I think LFL (Legends Football League) for the women. I think MMA male fighter Anderson Silva, I think Ronda Rousey. 

The sex roles comment is interesting on so many levels. Not only on kinky BDSM forms but also the acceptance of trans-gender men and women. We are still evolving as humans. And I'm all for it as a masculine. As mentioned before I've never had a trans-gender girlfriend but I'm eager to do so. I do not consider myself gay or even bisexual. I do feel that... Maybe they will be just as or more forgiving and accepting of me as a red blooded weirdo (aspie poly brony). The female figure for me is important but I find myself liking a bit of toyboy in my ladies. Or submissive in their feminism. Which goes with the whole animal thing earlier; the need to breed and somewhat conquer everything the animal sees. Getting ahead of myself.

•  Women are sluts if they sleep around, but men are not. This fact is due to the biological differences between men and women.

Is it so hard to reckonize women can be as poly as the males? However I feel poly people in general are frowd upon in modern society. I think most people see swingers as poly but that is not the case. And can be such as thing as male sluts. No, really there can. I could go into the slut being used for non-mono relationships other than poly but frankly that's a can of worms I do not. Want to. FUCKING OPEN.

Plus I'm not a fucking scienist. Hence me suddenly fucking remembering the word 'fuck' is in the fucking English dictionary. I can only tell you what I believe. And I believe the blog mention is WRONG in it's beliefs. But bully for them and their supporters for existing. But it's like when I see a nigga being arrested for a violent crime; I'm a sterotyped minority. Things like these do not help my cause trying to convince other causes are we not all bad.

The reproduction comment to me is more a fantasy than a need to continue breeding because I can. I have one daughter I love to bits and I struggle enough just to keep her happy. So why fantasize about breeding other women?

Since the beginning of time men seemlying are put on earth to do reproduce with females and dominate their land. Nowadays we see more and more female soldiers fighting for their beliefs so again the gender roles are slowly melting into each other or swapping.

Maybe this is the reason why I hate other people's kids.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-VqsbvG40Ww

It seems as soon as we can talk we have this image of what the world expects us to be. They tell us we can be anyone we want to be... And then when we tell them we want to play with the opposite sex's toys or god forbid change our gender, they tell us what can do that. Another reason why blogs like mine are important. Do what you want, regardless if I or anyone else approves. Do what makes you happy.

I'm a fucking unicorn that likes wine. And cocaine.

Next.

In fact I'm going to lastly cover:

•  A woman’s value is mainly determined by her fertility and beauty. A man’s value is mainly determined by his resources, intellect, and character.

As I've pissed and moaned at these guys since Thursday-Wednesday. I've checked my youtube history.

And also I'm going round in circles. 

Another week gone and I'm giving up writing this. I think I'm generally just fed up of what life tells me to be. I dunno about how you guys feel about this.