So a few weeks ago I spoke to one of my female modelling/cosplay actress friends. As respect for her she shall remain anon.
We were generally shooting the shit about things such as our struggles with being artists that happen to have mental illnesses. Then the conversation turned into this conversation about feminism, shaving and pop culture's obsession with perfection. I've asked her if this could be used to encourage and inspire other women and educate those against females who literally go through physical and mental pain just to be accepted by men and society.
BSB = Me
Anon = female friend
BSB: Who in society are you trying to impress? To be honest I like a woman with shaved legs but I wouldn't expect that everyday. Because yeah I like my girls feminine but I don't want her to feel she needs to impress me every day.
Anon: Some ladies see being with their partners as a excuse to not do anything pretty or feminine.
It just upsets me so much than in order to feel sexy and "presentable" to a guy for six hours I wind up feeling uncomfortable for a fortnight.
I came down to London to visit a bloke and shaved my legs on saturday morning. Last night he was having to raid his medicine cabinet for anaesthetic lotion because I'd scratched enough to draw blood.
Im sure I COULD cover up instead but when im still getting to know someone I dont yet feel comfortable saying "by the way, im a hairy girl. If you don't like that either dont take my stockings off or just dont shag me".
I know ultimately I probably will settle with a partner who loves me for my un pretty unfeminine self and subsequently I can indeed stop worrying but I still have needs in the meantime. And it hurts so much that I've got years of programming telling me im disgusting and ugly and need to go through this shit in order to feel worthy of affection.
BSB: Society telling me to do equally me being self employed. Nothing wrong thinking outside of the box.
Anywhere else you don't shave?
Anywhere else you don't shave?
Anon: Anywhere else I'm SUPPOSED to??
BSB: That doesn't mean the vagina. I'm guessing arm pits?
The vagina isn't a big (no pun) deal for me because it reminds me of one of my first.
The vagina isn't a big (no pun) deal for me because it reminds me of one of my first.
Anon: I have occasionally been asked to shave my bits but the pain after was vile. It felt like someone was sandpapering my clit for weeks after. Had to take antibiotics to fight infected sweat glands after a cyst developed. The fact that this is considered common practice or even "basic etiquette" makes me sick.
Underarms again I only shave if I have to but this summer I tried to be brave and bare them in their natural state.
Underarms again I only shave if I have to but this summer I tried to be brave and bare them in their natural state.
BSB: That's understandable.
I remember you rt something about a woman shaving or lack of. This is something you seem passionate about.
Anon: It is. I was bullied for years for being "the hairy girl".
I was bullied too. Also for being different.
BSB: I actually hate being misunderstood as often as I am. It's the reason I quit Facebook.
Being different is always hard. Especially when conforming is presented as not only normal but also desireable.
Being different is always hard. Especially when conforming is presented as not only normal but also desireable.
Anon: All the popular media tells me not only that I SHOULD look a certain way but also that I shall FEEL better about myself if I do. Its a double edged sword. If I dont conform society tells me im a disgusting freak and if I DO my body tells me I'm a freak for not feeling all lovely and feminine for it the way all the other girls do. Women like me are castigated by everyone. We are unattractive, unhygenic even, politically dissident, lazy for not looking pretty for Teh Menz, rebellious or actively trying to repel men by being our naturally revolting selves. And if we point out how society tries to push us to conform then hordes of women crawl out of the woodwork to point out how they do it "for themselves" and "because they like it" and silence our experiences and suffering by telling us "nobody cares" what we do with our bodies.
My friend is touring as Amy Pond at Doctor Who Fan-cons.
By the way, I mentioned this to someone else this week. Makes me angry (I saw it in an advert for an modelling reality TV show) when photographers call models fatties. You hired them. You booked them to be beautiful. Any women can be beautiful. Any women.
What do you think? Do you agree with her points?
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