Russian Roulette: Why The Reddit Sucide Attempt Was Important To All Of Us

Guys, I don't blog for blogging sake.

I blog because something has come up and I have an opinion on it. All this week I have certainly had a chance to try write about something. Anything. Paul Walker's death dying a week after Brian Griffin getting ran over by a car? I felt. For both. And how aligned both their deaths are.

 But not enough to write about it.  For all we know Family Guy writers could had or are writing that Paul Walker ran over Brian and then crashed his car. I just feel life has a habit of poetically ironic. And artists see such irony which is why those on the outside mostly can't tell if art imitates life or if it's the other way round.

I'm an artist. Regardless of what anyone says. I know what's in my heart and soul when the fucking things work together for the greater good.

The greater good. #hotfuzz

Same thing with the passing of one of my idols, Nelson Mandela. In the sense of a feeling of emptiness. Not because I don't mourn his loss. In fact when I think about it I am extremely empty of emotions. Depression does that. I often find myself after work seeing what crumbs I can piece together to treat myself to feel something.

Right now I'm in bierkeller's around the world in 80 beers having a cheap drink and something to eat. Hoping I'll suddenly want to go out and meet old friends. Anxiety with the depression does that. But since I got here I've been worried if I smell or if people hate me for no reason.

No doubt mental illness is not to be taken lightly. But the treatment of such isn't easy. And in a strange irony those ill are playing Russian Roulette with their health and lives.

An un-id 20 'oldfag' from 4chan only known as Steven decided to take his own life. What makes his attempted death different from other somewhat high profile (non celeb) suicides is Steven wished to attempt to end his life in front of other 4chan users.

Steven referring to himself as a 'oldfag' refers to previous posters claiming their were also going to kill themselves or do similar worst acts only to be demanded by the 4Chan users to 'do it faget'.
I'll admit, the meme 'do it faget' is funny. Along with the smiling face of a fictional character it can be funny used in some things. But I find the live streaming and the egging on of others (some users while Steven was seemlying dying was complaining of not being able to get a good view of his death due to the darkness) makes me believe if Steven was successful, that would of been the one thing he didn't fuck up.

I've been. Questioning yourself. Wondering if you are meant to be who you say you are. I find when these thoughts come a knocking, drink some water. Go out. If you want to do something you enjoy but are concerned you won't enjoy it, do it anyway. You might surprise yourself. The most important thing is to push yourself.

Understand, this society doesn't give a fuck about your well being. Your family probably does but you're be hard pushed to find someone who cares for your exclusively without return without money. If you can take the first steps towards feeling less in the need of hurting yourself when help does come around, it could make the process of breaking easier.

But Fuck it. I'm not a doctor or a psychologist. I'm just apart of the black herd.

;)